Hi there, and welcome! I’m Abby, and like many of you, I’ve been on a journey to better understand and express my feelings. For years, the simple question “How Are You Doing?” felt… well, simple. But life, as it often does, led me to realize that emotions are anything but simple. I’ve created some tools and insights along the way, and I’m excited to share them with you to explore the depth behind that everyday question and enhance your emotional awareness.
We’re going to interact with some tools and explore ways to articulate your emotions more effectively. Please remember to be kind to yourself throughout this process. If you need to pause at any point, please do. You can always come back to this exploration when you feel ready.
When someone asks, “How are you doing?” what’s your go-to response? Maybe it’s one of the usual suspects: “ok,” “good,” “not great,” or the ever-popular “busy.” For a long time, I was stuck in this loop too, answering with these stock phrases without really thinking about what they meant – or didn’t mean.
Then, life shifted. Experiences with panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and self-harm forced me to confront the shallowness of my standard replies. It led me to therapy, a space where those easy answers simply wouldn’t cut it. My therapist introduced me to the concept of an emotional vocabulary, suggesting a feelings wheel as a tool to help me articulate the nuances of my inner world.
This feelings wheel opened my eyes to a spectrum of emotions beyond “happy,” “sad,” or “angry.” It helped me pinpoint words that truly resonated with what I was feeling. Suddenly, “okay” wasn’t enough. I started to consider: Was I content? Neutral? Tolerating? The wheel encouraged me to delve deeper.
Alt text: Feelings wheel illustrating various emotions categorized by color, designed to expand emotional vocabulary and encourage precise feeling identification.
And here’s a fascinating realization: we can experience multiple emotions simultaneously. Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, a renowned researcher, calls this “emotional granularity.” The more precisely we can name our feelings, the better we become at understanding our body’s signals and needs. It’s about moving beyond a basic emotional vocabulary to a richer, more detailed understanding of our inner states. Pretty insightful, right?
I found the color and category organization of the feelings wheel intriguing, although the specific color choices didn’t always resonate with me personally. Colors and emotions are deeply intertwined, but these associations are often unique to each individual.
Driven by this idea, I started a daily practice. I would journal the emotions I was experiencing and the colors I instinctively associated with each feeling. Interestingly, many of my color associations mirrored the character designs in Pixar’s movie “Inside Out,” which explores core emotions through vibrant colors and personalities. Inspired, I delved into the research behind “Inside Out” and the science of emotions.
It turns out that scientists largely agree on the existence of at least five core emotions. These fundamental emotions are thought to be rooted in our primal communication system, a way for our bodies to signal needs to caregivers even before language develops. Isn’t that incredible?
This discovery led me to add another layer to my emotional practice: tracking how feelings manifest in my body and facial expressions. I began drawing body outlines and then coloring in areas where I felt each emotion, adding notes about the physical sensations.
For example, when frustration arises, this is how it manifests in my body:
Alt text: Visual representation of frustration in the body, depicted as color-coded regions on a body outline, highlighting areas where physical sensations of frustration are typically experienced.
Take a moment right now to tune into your own body. Start from the top of your head and slowly scan down through your torso, all the way to your extremities. What sensations do you notice?
As I continued this practice, patterns began to emerge. The colors I was using often aligned with where and how I physically felt certain emotions. From these patterns, I could begin to decipher what my body was trying to communicate about my needs.
Every body is unique, and each holds a wealth of information. However, processing all of these bodily signals can feel overwhelming at times. To bridge the gap between feeling and understanding, I started asking myself a crucial question: “What does my body need in this moment?” This simple question became a powerful tool for connecting my emotions to my underlying needs.
What does your body need right now? Perhaps it’s rest, movement, connection, or nourishment.
Through this journey of exploration, I developed my own emotion wheel. It incorporates words to expand emotional vocabulary, colors to deepen emotional associations, a body diagram to visualize physical sensations, and a needs chart to connect feelings to fundamental needs. These elements work together to provide a more comprehensive understanding of “how I’m doing” each day and what I need to cultivate more joy – or, more accurately, more satisfied needs – in my life.
Alt text: Author’s personalized emotion wheel, combining emotional vocabulary, color associations, body sensation mapping, and a needs chart to facilitate deeper self-understanding and emotional expression.
Now, when someone asks me “how are you doing?”, my answer is rarely a simple “okay” or “busy.” I’ve gained a deeper appreciation for the question itself and the opportunity it presents for genuine connection and self-reflection. And I listen to other people’s answers with greater empathy and understanding, recognizing the complexity behind even the simplest responses.
In challenging moments, I have new tools to pause, breathe, and ask myself: “What is this feeling? What color represents it? Where do I feel it in my body? What need is my body signaling?”
I try to engage in this practice most days in my sketchbook, creating visual representations of my emotional landscape. These drawings are a personal record of my emotional journey.
Alt text: Sketchbook illustrations depicting emotional landscapes, showcasing visual representations of feelings and personal emotional exploration through art.
I sincerely hope this exploration and these tools resonate with you and inspire you to develop your own practice of “emotional data collection” – whatever form that may take for you. Thank you for joining me on this journey to delve deeper into the question “how are you doing?” and unlock the richness of your emotional world.
You are welcome to revisit this page or the activities page anytime you wish to continue exploring.
If you’re interested in delving further into this topic, the resources below have been influential in shaping this project.
If you enjoyed this story, please consider supporting the author directly.
Abby’s Work
[Link to Abby’s Work]
Words Section
[Link to Words Section Resources]
Inside Out
[Link to Inside Out Resources]
Needs
[Link to Needs Resources]
Somatics & Embodiment
- Bodily Maps of Emotions by Lauri Nummenmaa, Enrico Glerean, Riitta Hari and Jari Kietanen
- Somatics for Social Justice Workshop with Melina Kai Martinez via Both/And
- Resmaa Menakem’s work on Somatic Abolitionism and Foundations in Somatic Abolitionism Course co-facilitated with Carlin Quinn
- The Embodiment Institute & the work of Prentis Hemphill
- Skin, Tooth, and Bone: The Basis of Movement is Our People. Sins Invalid. 2nd ed., digital ed., 2019.
- Gabor Mate, MD’s book: “The Myth of Normal”
- Peter Levine, PhD’s book: “Waking the Tiger”
- Bessel Van der Kolk, MD’s book: “The Body Keeps the Score”
Official and unofficial emotion researchers
[Link to Emotion Researchers Resources]
Some more folks doing amazing drawing + feelings work:
[Link to Drawing + Feelings Work Resources]
Thank you
This work is a result of the invaluable encouragement, critique, and care from:
Jadelynn St Dre (MA, LMFT, CST), Caitlin Terzulli (LCSW, CATC-IV, CST), Raye Kahn (NCPT, CSCS, CMT), Iris Leung (PsyD), Alicia Almonte (LICSW), Morgan Evans, Rio Holaday, Saralyn Hodgkin, Allison Allbee, Dr. Nicole Arlette-Hirsch, Dr. Raygine DiAquoi, Zina Goodall, Rajkumari Neogy (CEO ibelong), Laura Chow Reeve, Emily Simon, The 2020-2021 Homeroom Cohorts, the team at The Pudding and everyone else who has generously supported this project <3
