Deciding how much money should you give as a wedding gift can be tricky. While traditional wedding gifts like homeware items are still appreciated, cash gifts are becoming increasingly popular. This is especially true when couples already live together and are saving for significant milestones like a home, children, or a dream honeymoon. But how do you navigate this modern gifting landscape?
Choosing a present from a wedding gift list is straightforward, but handing over cash can feel more personal and potentially awkward. Some follow rules like covering the cost of the meal or matching what they received in the past, while others factor in travel and accommodation expenses.
If you’re invited to contribute to a honeymoon fund or give a cash gift, this guide will help you determine the appropriate amount, address any discomfort, and explore alternative gift ideas. Plus, we’ll offer advice for couples on how to tastefully request cash gifts.
Determining the Right Amount
The fundamental principle for wedding gifts, whether cash or physical items, remains the same: give what you’re comfortable with and what reflects your relationship with the couple.
According to a survey, over half of respondents suggested a cash gift between £50-£100, while a significant number recommended £20-£50.
Etiquette expert Emily Clarke emphasizes the importance of considering both your relationship with the couple and your own financial situation. “The amount should always be in proportion to your relationship with the couple, but you need to take your own finances into consideration as well,” she advises. “While some believe that the amount you give should be a reflection of your attendance and the overall cost of the wedding, it’s not your responsibility to foot the bill of the party and you should only give what you feel comfortable with.”
Clarke suggests that close friends and relatives might give £100 or more, with anything over £75 considered generous.
Don’t feel pressured to overspend. The purpose of a wedding gift is to express your best wishes, not to cause financial strain. Here’s a general guideline:
- Single Guest: £50
- Couple: £100
- Immediate Family: £100+
- Wedding Party: £100+
- Evening Guest: £25 – £50
- Colleague: £25 – £50
Alt: A wedding guest carefully places money into a white envelope as a cash gift.
To elevate the presentation of your cash gift, consider using a paper money wallet. These wallets, available for around £1 at card shops, add a special touch to your present.
Addressing the Request for Cash Gifts
The shift towards requesting cash gifts reflects the changing lifestyles of modern couples. Traditionally, wedding gift lists focused on items for a new home, a common practice when couples typically didn’t live together before marriage. However, many couples now live together before their wedding and already possess essential household items.
Asking for money as a wedding gift is a trend that can be divisive, particularly among older generations. Despite potential concerns about etiquette, it’s becoming more widely accepted. Many couples feel comfortable requesting monetary gifts, either as the primary option or alongside traditional gift choices.
Couples often use wedding savings towards future goals. By giving a monetary gift, you’re contributing to their next chapter, just as traditional homeware gifts were intended to set them up for their new life.
The Acceptability of Cash Gifts
According to Emily, “It’s considered a neutral option, as the couple can put it towards anything they like.”
Many couples acknowledge the potential awkwardness of directly requesting cash and opt for alternatives like honeymoon funds. These funds allow guests to contribute to specific experiences, such as excursions or spa treatments, through a honeymoon gift list.
Cultural Considerations for Cash Wedding Gifts
Cash gift expectations vary significantly across cultures. If you’re unsure, consult someone familiar with the couple’s background, such as a member of the wedding party or a relative.
- Japanese Weddings: Cash is a common gift, with friends giving around £200 in Yen and relatives giving significantly more. The money is placed in a Goshugi-bukuro envelope with the amount and your name written on the front.
- Chinese Weddings: Red envelopes are almost always used for cash gifts. The amount given often correlates with the cost of the wedding meal, with fancier venues warranting larger gifts.
- Nigerian Weddings: The “money dance” involves showering the couple with money. Guests also give envelopes filled with cash or checks. The expected amount depends on your relationship with the couple, so it’s best to inquire beforehand.
- Indian Weddings: Cash or checks in envelopes are typical, and registries are uncommon. Gift amounts often avoid ending in zero, with sums like £51 being preferred to symbolize continued growth.
- Italian Weddings: The bride often carries la borsa at the reception to collect cash gifts from guests to help cover wedding expenses.
Alt: Elders present a newlywed couple with a traditional red envelope containing a cash wedding gift.
For destination weddings, the expectation for gifts remains, even though you’re incurring travel expenses. While a smaller gift is acceptable, it’s still customary to offer something.
Considerations for Giving Cash as a Wedding Gift
As cash gifts become increasingly common, keep these factors in mind:
1. Couple’s Preference: Check for honeymoon fund mentions or notes indicating cash gifts are welcome.
2. Relationship Closeness: Add a heartfelt note for family or close friends to personalize the gift.
3. Cultural Sensitivity: Consider the couple’s cultural background and wedding style to ensure appropriateness.
4. Gift Amount: Consider your budget and what you’d typically spend on a gift. Some guests aim to cover their plate cost.
5. Presentation: Present the cash in a thoughtful card or themed envelope with a personalized message.
6. Gift Registry: Check the registry first for preferred items over cash.
7. Alternative Gifts: Consider gift vouchers for travel or department stores for more flexibility.
8. No Pressure: Remember that a wedding gift is a symbol of love and support, not a financial obligation.
Destination Wedding Gift Etiquette
For destination weddings, factor in your travel expenses. Giving a smaller monetary or thoughtful non-monetary gift is acceptable. If you cannot attend, a gift similar to what you’d give at a traditional wedding is appropriate.
Group vs. Individual Gifts
Contribute less to a group gift. For individual gifts, your contribution shouldn’t change based on others’ gifts. Focus on your budget and connection to the couple.
Alternatives to Cash Wedding Gifts
Alt: A wedding guest presents a beautifully wrapped traditional wedding gift to the happy couple.
If you’re uncomfortable giving cash, explore alternative contributions. Start by politely inquiring about the couple’s reasons for requesting money.
If a specific goal is identified, such as saving for a home or kitchen, consider gift vouchers from a relevant department store. For honeymoon funds, prepaid travel money cards or currency for their destination can be thoughtful.
Many gift lists offer tangible items like honeymoon experiences.
Here are some appreciated alternatives:
- Cooking Classes: Memories and skills they will cherish.
- Personalized Artwork: Sentimental keepsakes.
- Luggage: Durable and exciting for honeymoon and beyond.
- Subscription Box: Gourmet cheese, wine, coffee, or books.
- Charity Donation: Meaningful way to honor their union.
- Outdoor Adventure Kit: Picnic baskets and hiking gear.
- Custom Recipe Book: Include recipes from family and friends.
- Framed Star Map: Romantic reminder of their special day.
- Membership: Local museum, botanical garden, or zoo.
- Luxurious Bedding: High-thread-count sheets.
- Memory Box: Chic for preserving mementos.
- Board Game: Fun for cosy nights.
- Food/Drink: Cheese, wine, home brewing.
- Welcome Mat: Personalized design.
- Keepsake Box: Handwritten letter or keepsake box.
Best Ways for Couples to Ask for Money
If you’re a couple wondering how to request money:
- Mention cash gifts on invitations, specifying the saving goal.
- Create a wedding gift list with both gift and money options.
- Set up a honeymoon gift list for flight, hotel, or activity contributions.
- If saving for a house, use a website like “Buy Us A Brick.”
By considering these guidelines, you can confidently navigate the world of wedding gifts and choose a present that is both meaningful and appropriate.
