Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common concern for men, with historical roots tracing back to ancient times. From ancient Chinese practices like Fangzhongshu to modern solutions, the quest to last longer during sex has been ongoing. It’s estimated that a significant percentage of men, between 30% and 70%, experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. While occasional quick orgasms are normal, persistent early ejaculation can negatively impact sexual satisfaction and self-esteem for both individuals and couples.
If you’re looking to enhance your sexual performance and increase pleasure for both you and your partner, the following techniques can help you gain more control and last longer in bed.
Understanding Ejaculation Timing: What’s “Normal”?
Premature ejaculation is recognized as a form of sexual dysfunction. Definitions can vary slightly, but the International Society of Sexual Medicine defines PE as ejaculation occurring within approximately one minute of vaginal penetration. The American Urological Association describes it more broadly as ejaculating “sooner than a man or his partner would like” during sexual activity.
It’s crucial to understand that occasional quick orgasms are not indicative of a problem. However, when early ejaculation becomes a recurring pattern, it can lead to dissatisfaction and strain within a relationship.
Contrary to the myth of marathon sex sessions, lasting for hours is neither typical nor necessarily desired. A 2008 study involving sex therapists indicated that 7-13 minutes of vaginal intercourse is considered “desirable.” Shorter durations might be seen as “adequate” or “too short,” while significantly longer durations can be perceived as “too long.”
Another study involving 500 heterosexual couples measured the actual duration of intercourse using stopwatches, finding an average time of 5.4 minutes.
These findings highlight that extended sexual stamina is not the norm, nor is it universally sought after. However, if you aim to increase your endurance and delay ejaculation, the following methods can be beneficial.
Proven Methods to Extend Sexual Stamina
1. Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor with Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercises, or pelvic floor exercises, are not just for women. These exercises target the muscles that support your bladder and play a vital role in ejaculatory control and erectile function. Strengthening these muscles can significantly improve your ability to manage ejaculation.
To identify your pelvic floor muscles, try stopping your urine flow midstream. The muscles you engage to do this are the ones you’ll be working with Kegels. You can practice this muscle engagement while urinating to get a feel for it.
To perform Kegels, squeeze these pelvic muscles and hold the contraction for 5-10 seconds, then relax. Repeat this 10-15 times daily. You can do Kegels in various positions – while urinating, lying down, or standing.
Studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of pelvic floor exercises, with up to 80% of men experiencing improvement in premature ejaculation symptoms.
2. Embrace a Healthy Lifestyle for Sexual Wellness
Overall health and sexual health are intrinsically linked. Unhealthy habits such as obesity, smoking, and excessive alcohol consumption can negatively impact sexual function. These factors can contribute to high blood pressure and reduced blood flow, which are crucial for achieving and maintaining an erection. Adopting a healthier lifestyle can lead to noticeable improvements in sexual performance.
Incorporate these healthy habits to enhance your sexual function and overall well-being:
- Regular Exercise: Engage in consistent physical activity to improve cardiovascular health and blood flow.
- Balanced Diet: Focus on a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins to support overall health.
- Moderate Alcohol Consumption: Reduce alcohol intake as excessive drinking can impair sexual function.
- Quit Smoking: Smoking damages blood vessels and restricts blood flow, negatively impacting erections.
- Avoid Recreational Drugs: Drug use can have detrimental effects on sexual health.
- Stress Management: Practice stress-reducing techniques like meditation and deep breathing exercises, as stress can contribute to sexual dysfunction.
3. Address Mental Well-being for Better Sexual Performance
The connection between mental health and sexual performance is well-established. Conditions like depression, anxiety, and stress can significantly impact sexual function and are also major risk factors for erectile dysfunction.
Depression and premature ejaculation can create a cyclical relationship, making it challenging to determine the primary cause. Seeking professional help for mental health concerns through therapy and medication (when appropriate) can be a crucial step in addressing premature ejaculation.
If you experience persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or worthlessness, consulting a healthcare provider is essential to discuss mental health support and treatment options.
4. Incorporate Foreplay to Enhance the Experience
It’s important to remember that penetrative sex is not the only path to sexual satisfaction, especially for partners with vaginas. Studies show that a significant portion of individuals with vaginas require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, and many do not orgasm from penetration alone.
Incorporating ample foreplay can greatly enhance sexual experiences for both partners. It builds anticipation, increases arousal, and naturally delays the point of penetration. Explore various forms of foreplay, such as massage, sensual touch, oral sex, and sex toys, to create a more fulfilling and extended sexual encounter.
Foreplay not only adds excitement and variety to your sex life but also helps in naturally delaying orgasm.
5. Utilize the Stop-Start Technique During Intercourse
Once you begin sexual intercourse, there’s no need to rush to orgasm. Taking it slow and employing techniques like the stop-start method can help you gain better control.
When you feel yourself approaching orgasm, pause all stimulation. Focus on providing pleasure to your partner in other ways, perhaps through oral sex or manual stimulation. This pause allows your arousal to subside slightly. Once the urge to ejaculate diminishes, you can resume intercourse.
This technique not only prolongs the sexual encounter but also helps you become more attuned to the sensations leading up to orgasm. As you become more familiar with recognizing and managing these sensations, you can react more effectively to delay ejaculation.
6. Practice Edging for Orgasm Control
Edging is a technique that can be practiced during masturbation or with a partner. It’s designed to train your body and mind to better control orgasms. When using edging as a method to address premature ejaculation, it’s often recommended to practice it individually at first.
Similar to the stop-start method, edging involves stimulating yourself (or being stimulated) to the point of near orgasm. Just before you reach the point of no return, stop all stimulation.
Focus on recognizing the physical sensations that precede orgasm. By repeatedly bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then backing off, you can enhance your awareness and control over your ejaculatory response. Continue this process until you feel you have regained control over your level of arousal.
7. Employ the Squeeze Technique for Immediate Delay
The squeeze technique can be used in conjunction with edging or during sexual intercourse. If you feel an orgasm approaching, immediately stop stimulation and firmly squeeze your penis just below the head. Apply pressure to the urethra, which is located on the underside of the penis.
This pressure will temporarily reduce blood flow and cause a partial loss of erection. It also provides a brief interruption in stimulation, which can effectively delay ejaculation.
8. Masturbate Prior to Sex to Reduce Sensitivity
If you haven’t ejaculated recently, heightened sensitivity and excitement during sex can make it more challenging to control orgasm. A simple strategy to counter this is to masturbate an hour or two before sexual activity.
After orgasm, the body enters a refractory period, a recovery phase where it’s more difficult to achieve another erection or reach orgasm. Engaging in sex during this refractory period can decrease the intensity of physical and mental stimulation that triggers orgasm, potentially helping you last longer.
While it might seem counterintuitive, masturbating beforehand can reduce overstimulation and help delay ejaculation during sex.
9. Consider Numbing Agents for Desensitization
Topical numbing creams, sprays, or wipes can be used to desensitize the penis and delay ejaculation. These products typically contain local anesthetics like benzocaine or lidocaine. Several over-the-counter options are available, such as sprays and wipes containing benzocaine.
These desensitizing agents work by reducing sensitivity in the penis, making it less likely to trigger premature ejaculation. It’s advisable to test these products on your own before using them with a partner to understand their effects and ensure proper application.
Always follow the product instructions carefully and avoid exceeding the recommended dosage to prevent potential side effects.
10. Utilize Thicker Condoms for Reduced Sensation
Condoms are primarily used for contraception and protection against sexually transmitted infections. However, thicker condoms can also provide a secondary benefit of reducing penile sensitivity during intercourse. This decreased sensitivity can help delay ejaculation.
Certain condom brands offer “extended pleasure” varieties that are designed to further reduce sensitivity. Some of these condoms incorporate a mild numbing lubricant on the inside to enhance the desensitizing effect.
11. Explore Medication Options with a Healthcare Provider
If self-help techniques are insufficient, consulting a healthcare provider is the next step. They can offer further guidance and discuss potential medical treatments.
While there are currently no medications specifically approved by the FDA for premature ejaculation, some medications are used off-label to manage PE. Sildenafil (Viagra), typically used for erectile dysfunction, may also help delay orgasm in some men. Additionally, certain antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been found to have a side effect of delayed ejaculation and are sometimes prescribed for PE. Common SSRIs used for this purpose include paroxetine, sertraline, and fluoxetine.
SSRIs can have potential side effects, so it’s crucial to discuss your medical history and any other medications you are taking with your healthcare provider before considering this option.
12. Open Communication with Your Partner is Key
Perhaps the most crucial step is to communicate openly with your partner about your concerns regarding premature ejaculation and any performance anxiety you may be experiencing. Worrying about ejaculating too quickly can actually exacerbate the problem and hinder sexual enjoyment.
Studies consistently show that couples who engage in open and honest communication about sex experience greater sexual satisfaction. Choose a comfortable and private setting to discuss your feelings, desires, and needs with your partner. Encourage mutual openness and avoid placing blame.
Collaboratively develop a plan to address premature ejaculation. This shared approach can alleviate pressure and foster trust and intimacy within the relationship.
If you find it challenging to communicate effectively about sex, consider seeking guidance from a sex therapist or couples counselor. These professionals can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your challenges and develop healthy communication strategies.
Seeking Professional Guidance for Sexual Health
Premature ejaculation doesn’t have to detract from your sexual experiences. If you’re struggling with PE, consulting a healthcare provider or urologist is a proactive step towards finding solutions.
Online men’s health platforms offer convenient and confidential consultations for premature ejaculation and other sexual health concerns. These virtual appointments allow you to discuss your symptoms and explore treatment options with a licensed healthcare professional from the privacy of your home. If appropriate, healthcare providers can offer prescriptions and recommend therapies to help you regain confidence and control in your sexual life.
