If you think anal sex is all about aggressive, fast-paced action like in some adult films, it’s time to reconsider. Sex expert Georgia Grace explains that this common misconception and a lack of proper information often make anal play seem daunting and unappealing.
However, incorporating anal stimulation into your sexual experiences—whether with fingers, toys, or a penis—can unlock incredibly intense orgasms for many. The key, according to Georgia, is having the right knowledge and understanding before you begin.
When approached correctly and safely, anal play can lead to multiple orgasms for individuals with prostates, even without erection or ejaculation. For those with vulvas, it can stimulate the clitoris and G-spot through the shared nerve endings.
If you’re curious to explore anal pleasure responsibly, this guide, with insights from a certified sex coach, is your essential starting point.
Start with Self-Exploration
If you’re new to anal play, Georgia suggests beginning by exploring your own body externally.
“Have your body-safe lubricant ready, or even a gentle genital wash, and simply bring your finger to your anus externally, noticing how it feels,” she advises.
You can even start this exploration during your shower, where you’re already accustomed to cleaning and touching this area.
Discover “The Doorbell” Technique
Georgia introduces a technique she calls “the doorbell” to help you become more familiar with anal touch.
“Using the flat of your thumb, gently press upwards against your anus,” she suggests. This can help you understand the external sensations and sensitivity.
Mapping and Circular Motions
Experiment with different types of touch around your anus. Explore which spots feel sensitive or pleasurable. Try drawing circles with your finger or moving it up and down over the area.
Georgia also recommends massaging the area or gradually incorporating anal touch into your masturbation routine.
“Begin by building arousal throughout your body first, as heightened arousal enhances all forms of touch,” she explains.
Internal Exploration with a Finger
When you feel comfortable, you can begin to explore internal stimulation gently.
“As with everything, do not push through any pain. Ensure you use plenty of lubricant, and focus on following pleasure,” Georgia emphasizes.
Many individuals report experiencing more intense orgasms when they include anal stimulation during masturbation.
“They might introduce a finger, a buttplug, or a vibrator externally, and it can be the extra stimulation that pushes them over the edge to a truly incredible orgasm,” she notes.
How to Prepare for Anal Sex: Debunking Myths
Many believe that preparing for anal sex requires extensive weeks of cleaning and preparation. However, Georgia assures us that it doesn’t need to be a complicated ordeal.
“There are many simple steps you can take, similar to preparing for any type of sex. Everyone will have different preferences,” she explains.
Here are some straightforward preparation steps:
- Shower and wash externally: Basic hygiene is always a good start.
- Use a finger to clean internally: Gently insert a finger to check for any stool.
- Use wet wipes: For a quick and easy clean-up.
- Go to the toilet 30 minutes to a few hours before sex: This allows time for natural bowel movements.
- Use a douche (optional): For those who prefer extra cleanliness, but not always necessary.
- Maintain a high-fiber diet beforehand: This promotes regular bowel movements and can help prevent accidents.
Personal digestive health plays a role. For example, if you’re lactose intolerant, it’s wise to avoid dairy right before anal sex.
It’s also important to remember that you’ll generally know if you need to have a bowel movement. Stool isn’t constantly stored in the rectum.
“You’re not inserting your finger into a log of poo,” Georgia laughs, reassuringly.
Leveling Up with Buttplugs
Before engaging in anal play with a partner, using a buttplug can be an excellent way to become more comfortable with anal sensations. Georgia suggests starting with smaller sizes if you’re concerned about discomfort.
“You can find very small buttplugs to begin with. Just ensure they have a flared base for safety,” she advises.
Buttplugs come in various shapes, sizes, and even vibrating options. Exploring these can be a fun part of your “ass-venture”!
Exploring Anal Play with a Partner (or Multiple Partners)
When you’re ready to explore anal play with a partner, Georgia emphasizes the importance of proceeding “very, very slowly.”
“Begin with a practice session where you communicate, ‘How does that feel? Would you like more or less pressure?'”
You can explore using fingers, mouths, buttplugs, vibrators, and dildos. Always ensure you have plenty of lubricant.
Expanding Exploration with Larger Toys or a Penis
Once you and your partner are comfortable and have discovered what feels pleasurable, you might consider anal sex with a penis or a larger dildo.
“For someone with a prostate and penis, receiving internal anal stimulation—whether through pegging or penetration with a penis or dildo—can be orgasmically satisfying on its own,” Georgia explains.
“They might not need or want simultaneous penis stimulation. The P-spot stimulation or the sensation of penetration in this sensitive area can be enough for them to reach orgasm.”
For partners with vulvas, stimulating other erogenous zones like the clitoris simultaneously can enhance pleasure.
“When we incorporate other erogenous zones, everything feels better,” Georgia adds. “Just like how nipple stimulation or neck kisses can intensify sensations throughout the body during sex.”
Positions for Anal Sex
Georgia points out that the best positions are subjective and depend on individual bodies and preferences. However, here are some commonly enjoyed positions:
Missionary Position
“Missionary is often a fantastic starting point,” Georgia says. “It’s often underrated. Many people love it because it maintains intimacy with their partner, allows for free hands to explore their own or their partner’s body.”
“It also offers control. If you want to take things slowly and control the depth or pressure, being in the receiving position in missionary allows you to guide your partner’s movements and pressure.”
Doggy Style
“Doggy style is what many people automatically picture when they think of anal sex,” Georgia notes. “It involves being on all fours or with your buttocks raised, allowing penetration from behind.”
Legs Up, Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl, or Spooning
“These positions can feel incredibly intense because the back can be highly sensitive,” Georgia suggests. “Feeling your partner’s body against your back while being penetrated can be very arousing. Plus, your hands are free to stimulate your front erogenous zones simultaneously.”
Sex Should Be Fun, Exploratory, and Pleasurable
Remember, exploring anal sex should be approached with the same spirit as any sexual exploration: it should be fun, maybe a little awkward initially, possibly messy, definitely pleasurable, and never painful.
“Sex involves starting, pausing, finding new positions, laughing a little, adding more lubricant, and maybe incorporating toys,” Georgia concludes. “That’s what truly great sex is all about.”
