For centuries, men have sought ways to extend their sexual encounters and combat premature ejaculation (PE). From ancient practices like the Chinese Fangzhongshu to modern techniques, the desire for greater control and endurance in bed is a timeless pursuit. Today, a significant portion of men, ranging from 30% to 70%, experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. While occasional quick orgasms are perfectly normal, persistent rapid ejaculation can negatively impact sexual satisfaction and self-confidence.
If you’re looking to enhance your sexual stamina and prolong intimacy, the following expert-backed tips can help you last longer in bed, leading to improved sexual performance and greater pleasure for both you and your partner. Explore these strategies to unlock new levels of sexual fulfillment and confidence.
Understanding Ejaculation Timing: What’s Considered “Normal”?
Premature ejaculation is recognized as a form of sexual dysfunction. However, defining PE precisely can vary. The International Society of Sexual Medicine defines premature ejaculation as ejaculation occurring within approximately one minute of vaginal penetration. The American Urological Association offers a broader definition, describing PE as when a man ejaculates “sooner than he or his partner would like” during sexual activity.
It’s crucial to remember that occasional quick orgasms are not indicative of a sexual dysfunction. It happens. However, if you consistently experience orgasms sooner than desired by you or your partner, it can create tension and dissatisfaction in your sexual relationship.
Forget the myth of marathon sex sessions. Research suggests that lengthy intercourse isn’t necessarily the goal for most couples. A 2008 study involving sex therapists indicated that 7 to 13 minutes of vaginal intercourse is considered “desirable.” Shorter durations might be perceived as “adequate” or even “too short,” while anything significantly exceeding 10 minutes can start to be viewed as “too long.”
Another study involving 500 heterosexual couples further illuminated typical intercourse duration. Participants used a stopwatch to record the time from penetration to ejaculation. The average time of intercourse in this study was 5.4 minutes.
These findings emphasize that lasting for extended periods is not the norm, nor is it universally desired. However, if your goal is to gain more control over ejaculation and extend your time to climax, the techniques outlined below can be highly effective.
Effective Strategies: How to Increase Stamina in Bed
1. Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Muscles with Kegel Exercises
Yes, Kegel exercises aren’t just for women! These exercises, targeting your pelvic floor muscles, are crucial for bladder control and also play a significant role in ejaculatory control. Strengthening these muscles can provide you with better command over your orgasms and even improve erectile function.
To locate your pelvic floor muscles, try stopping your urine flow midstream. The muscles you engage to do this are your pelvic floor muscles. You can also practice squeezing these muscles as if you are trying to prevent passing gas.
Incorporate Kegel exercises into your daily routine. You can perform them while urinating (though not recommended as a regular exercise), lying down, sitting, or standing. Simply contract your pelvic muscles, hold the contraction for 5 to 10 seconds, and then relax. Repeat this 10 to 15 times per day. Consistency is key to seeing results.
Studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of pelvic floor exercises, with up to 80% of men experiencing improvement in premature ejaculation after incorporating them into their routine.
2. Cultivate Healthy Lifestyle Habits for Enhanced Sexual Function
Your overall health is intrinsically linked to your sexual health. Unhealthy habits like obesity, smoking, and excessive alcohol consumption can significantly impact sexual function. These factors can contribute to high blood pressure and reduced blood flow to the penis, making it more challenging to achieve and maintain erections, and potentially affecting ejaculatory control. Embracing a healthy lifestyle has been shown to positively influence sexual performance.
Adopt these healthy habits to improve your sexual function and overall well-being:
- Regular Exercise: Engage in regular physical activity. Exercise improves cardiovascular health, blood flow, and can boost libido.
- Balanced Diet: Follow a nutritious diet rich in vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and lean protein. A healthy diet supports overall bodily functions, including sexual function.
- Moderate Alcohol Consumption: Reduce your alcohol intake. Excessive alcohol can impair sexual performance and sensitivity.
- Quit Smoking: Smoking negatively impacts blood flow and can contribute to erectile dysfunction and potentially affect ejaculatory control.
- Avoid Recreational Drugs: Recreational drug use can have detrimental effects on sexual health and overall well-being.
- Stress Management: Practice stress-reducing techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga. Stress and anxiety can significantly contribute to sexual performance issues.
3. Address Mental Health Concerns for Better Sexual Performance
The connection between mental health and sexual performance is profound. Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and stress can negatively impact your performance in the bedroom. Furthermore, these conditions are also major risk factors for erectile dysfunction.
Depression and premature ejaculation can create a cyclical relationship, making it difficult to determine which came first. However, seeking treatment for mental health issues through therapy and medication (when appropriate) can significantly reduce the risk of premature ejaculation and improve overall sexual well-being.
If you experience persistent sadness, anxiety, or feelings of worthlessness, it’s crucial to consult a healthcare provider to discuss mental health care options. Addressing underlying mental health issues can have a positive ripple effect on your sexual health.
4. Incorporate Ample Foreplay to Build Anticipation
It’s important to remember that for many individuals with vaginas, orgasm through penetrative sex alone is not always guaranteed. Studies indicate that only around 18% of women consistently orgasm from penetration alone, and approximately 36% require direct clitoral stimulation to reach climax.
This highlights the importance of foreplay in enhancing sexual experiences for both partners. Incorporating foreplay can build sexual tension, increase arousal, and naturally delay the point of penetration. Experiment with various forms of foreplay, including kissing, sensual massage, erotic touch, oral sex, and sex toys, before proceeding to intercourse.
Foreplay not only adds excitement and variety to your sex life but also serves as a valuable tool in delaying orgasm during intercourse.
5. Master the Stop-Start Technique for Ejaculatory Control
Once you begin intercourse, there’s no need to rush towards orgasm. Slow down, explore different positions, and utilize the stop-start method to prolong your time before ejaculation.
When you feel yourself approaching orgasm, stop all sexual activity. Focus on other forms of intimacy, such as kissing or caressing your partner, or switch to oral sex to continue providing pleasure while taking a break from intercourse. Once the urge to ejaculate subsides, you can resume intercourse.
This technique not only slows down the pace of sex but also helps you become more attuned to the sensations leading up to orgasm. By becoming more comfortable with the feeling of approaching climax without ejaculating, you can learn to recognize the point of no return and react proactively.
6. Practice Edging to Enhance Orgasm Control
Edging, whether practiced during masturbation or with a partner, is a powerful technique for training your body and mind to better control orgasms. When using edging as a method to address premature ejaculation, it’s often recommended to practice it initially during solo masturbation.
Similar to the stop-start technique, edging involves stimulating yourself (or being stimulated by your partner) until you are on the verge of orgasm. At this point, stop all stimulation.
Familiarize yourself with the physical sensations and level of arousal just before orgasm. Train yourself to hold back from ejaculating and allow the intensity to subside. Repeat this process of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then backing off multiple times before finally allowing yourself to ejaculate.
7. Utilize the Squeeze Technique for Immediate Delay
The squeeze technique can be used in conjunction with edging or during intercourse. If you feel an orgasm approaching, immediately stop stimulation and firmly squeeze your penis just below the head. Apply pressure to the urethra, the tube located on the underside of the penis.
This pressure will cause a temporary decrease in erection firmness and provide a brief pause from penetration, which can effectively delay ejaculation.
8. Consider Masturbating Before Sex to Reduce Sensitivity
If you haven’t ejaculated recently, heightened excitement during sex might make it more challenging to control the urge to orgasm. A simple strategy to counter this is to masturbate to orgasm before engaging in sexual activity with a partner.
After ejaculation, your body enters a refractory period, a recovery phase during which it’s more difficult to achieve another erection or reach orgasm. Your body is essentially recovering from the previous sexual release.
Engaging in sex during this refractory period, after masturbating, can reduce both the mental and physical stimulation that triggers orgasm, potentially leading to delayed ejaculation.
9. Explore Numbing Agents for Reduced Penile Sensitivity
Desensitizing creams, sprays, or wipes containing numbing agents can help reduce penile sensitivity and delay ejaculation. Look for topical anesthetic products containing benzocaine or lidocaine. Brands like Promescent offer benzocaine-based sprays and wipes specifically designed for this purpose.
When used in appropriate doses, these products can temporarily decrease sensitivity in the penis during sex.
It’s advisable to test desensitizing products on your own before using them with a partner. This will allow you to understand how they work, how they feel, and determine the appropriate amount to use.
Always adhere to the product’s instructions and avoid using more than the recommended dosage. Overuse of numbing agents can lead to side effects, including temporary loss of sensation.
10. Opt for Thicker Condoms for Decreased Sensitivity
Condoms are essential for preventing sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies. They can also be a helpful tool for delaying ejaculation. Thicker condoms can reduce sensation during penetrative sex, potentially prolonging the time to orgasm.
Certain condom brands, such as Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms, are specifically designed to enhance stamina. These condoms often incorporate a medicated lubricant containing a desensitizing agent on the inside, further reducing penile sensitivity.
11. Discuss Medication Options with a Healthcare Provider
If self-help strategies prove insufficient, consult a healthcare provider to explore other treatment options. They can offer personalized medical advice and may recommend additional techniques or prescribe medication to improve sexual performance.
Currently, there are no FDA-approved medications specifically for premature ejaculation. However, medications like sildenafil (Viagra), primarily used for erectile dysfunction, may also help delay orgasm in some men. Additionally, certain antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been used off-label to treat PE. SSRIs like paroxetine (Paxil), sertraline (Zoloft), and fluoxetine (Prozac) can have the side effect of delaying orgasm.
SSRIs can have potential side effects. It’s crucial to discuss your complete medical history, including any existing mental and physical health conditions and current medications, with your healthcare provider before considering antidepressants for premature ejaculation.
12. Open Communication with Your Partner is Key
Perhaps the most crucial step is to openly communicate with your partner about premature ejaculation and any performance anxiety you may be experiencing. Worrying about ejaculating too quickly can actually exacerbate the issue and hinder your ability to enjoy sex.
Studies consistently demonstrate that couples who engage in open and honest communication about sex report greater sexual satisfaction. Choose a comfortable and private time and place to have a stress-free conversation with your partner about your sexual desires, needs, and concerns. Encourage mutual openness and avoid placing blame on either partner.
Develop a collaborative plan to address premature ejaculation or any other sexual challenges you may face as a couple. This shared approach can alleviate pressure on one individual and foster greater trust and intimacy within the relationship.
If you find it challenging to communicate effectively about your sex life, consider seeking guidance from a sex therapist or couples counselor. These trained professionals can provide a safe and supportive space to navigate these sensitive conversations and develop healthy communication patterns.
Seeking Professional Guidance for Sexual Health
Don’t let premature ejaculation negatively impact your sexual well-being. If you are concerned about PE, reaching out to a healthcare provider is a positive step. Primary care physicians and urologists can offer medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment options tailored to your specific needs.
For convenient and discreet access to care, online men’s health appointments are available through platforms like Sesame. These virtual consultations allow you to discuss your symptoms and explore potential treatment options with licensed healthcare providers from the privacy of your own home.
If appropriate, healthcare providers on Sesame can prescribe medication or recommend other therapies to help you regain control and enhance your sexual health and satisfaction.
